麻烦大家帮忙修改一篇雅思作文,主要是我语法不好,麻烦帮我改语法～topic：shouldoldpeoplestayathomeorbeplacedinnursinghomes?Thesedays,mostofpeopletaketheopinionthatoldpeopleshouldstayathomewiththeir|小学作文问答-掌乐学问答网

麻烦大家帮忙修改一篇雅思作文,主要是我语法不好,麻烦帮我改语法～topic：shouldoldpeoplestayathomeorbeplacedinnursinghomes?Thesedays,mostofpeopletaketheopinionthatoldpeopleshouldstayathomewiththeir

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更新时间:2024-04-25 21:38:42

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麻烦大家帮忙修改一篇雅思作文,主要是我语法不好,麻烦帮我改语法～

topic：shouldoldpeoplestayathomeorbeplacedinnursinghomes?

Thesedays,mostofpeopletaketheopinionthatoldpeopleshouldstayathomewiththeirfamilymembers.Contrarytogenerallyacceptedideas,Iwouldliketoprovethatnursinghomeisabetterchoiceforoldpeopletoenjoytheirsparelife.Thereasonsarechieflyasfollows.

Inthefirstplace,mordenpeople’slifeareinfluencedbythespeedofsocialdevelopmentthathavetoworkhardertokeepabetterlifestandard.Theyevenhavenotimetosharetheirhappinessandsorrowtotheirwifeorhusband,notleasttakingcareoldpeoplewhomayfeellonelyeasily.Wecannotannouncetoothersthatmygrandparentsarelivingwithushappilybecausetheycandowhatevertheylikeinhomeeverydayafterwegotoworkorstudy.Compareswithfree,theyneedmorecommunicationswithsomesameagefriendstokeepphysicalandpsychologicalhealth.

Insuchretirementhomes,agingpeoplecanreceiveintensivemedicalcarefromprofessionaldoctorsandnurses.Besides,theycanreceiveaproperdietpreparedbydieticianstomeettheirindividualrequirements.Moreover,theycouldhaveregularmedicalcheck-upsothatanydiseasecouldbefoundinitsearlystages.Whatisthemostbeneficialisthatifanydiseasestrikes,medicalservicesareimmediatelyavailable.

Ontheotherhand,somepeoplemayarguethatifagingpeoplemoveintonursinghome,havingafamilyunionisharderthanbefore.Actually,oldpeopleprefertoliveinapeacefuleratomakesuretheirorgansworknormally.Toputitdifferently,nursinghomeprovidesamoresuitableplacetoliveforourgrandparents.

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　　Thesedays,themajorityofpeopletaketheopinionthatoldpeopleshouldstayathomewiththeirfamilymembers.Contrarytogenerallyacceptedideas,Iwouldliketoprovethatnursinghomeisabetterchoiceforoldpeopletoenjoytheirsparelife.Thereasonsarechieflyasfollows. 　　Inthefirstplace,换为contemporary(modern你写错了)people’slifearesostrikinglyinfluencedbythehigh-speeding（删speedof）socialdevelopmentthat(sothat结构)theyhavetoworkhardertoliveabetterlife.Theyevenhavenotimetosharewiththeirpartnerstheirhappinessandsorrow(删withtheirwifeorhusband),letalone（删notleast）takingcareoftheold(删people)whomayfeellonely（删easily）.Wecannottell(删announceto)othersthatmygrandparentsarelivinghappilywithusbecausetheycandowhatevertheylikeinhomeeverydayafterweyouth(we的同位语,指年轻人)gotoworkorstudy.Comparedwithfree,theyneedmorecommunicationswiththeirpeer（删somesameage）friendstokeepphysicalandpsychologicalhealth. 　　Innursinghomes(删suchretirementhomes),agingpeoplecanreceiveintensivemedicalcarefromprofessionaldoctorsandnurses.Besides,theycanreceiveaproperdietpreparedbydieticiansthat(修饰diet)canmeettheirindividualrequirements.Moreover,theycanreceiveregularmedicalcheck-upsothatmany（any不切实际）diseasecouldbefoundintheirearlystages.（删Whatis）Thebiggestbenefit(删mostbeneficial)isthatonce（删if）anydiseasestrikes,medicalservicesareimmediatelyavailable. 　　Ontheotherhand,somepeoplemayarguethatifagingpeoplemoveintoanursinghome,keepingafamilytiewillbe(删havingafamilyunionis)harderthanbefore.Actually,oldpeopleprefertoliveinapeacefulenvironment（删era）tomakesuretheirorgansworknormally.Toputitdifferently,nursinghomeprovidesamoresuitableplacefortheoldtolive（删toliveforourgrandparents）.