GettinganAnnouncement
Well,you'renotinvited--butthebrideandgroomwantyoutoknowaboutit.Don'tgetmortallyoffendedoffthebat--iftheseareclosefriends,theymayhavechosentohaveanintimatefamilyweddingandsocouldn'tinvitealltheirfriends.Ifit'snotsuchaclosefriend,orit'sabusinessassociate,don'tfeelobligatedtosendagift.It'sanicegesturetosendapersonalnoteofcongratulations,buteventhatisnotautomaticallyexpected.
TheGift
Alwaysplanonsendingagiftwhenyouacceptaweddinginvitation.Ifyoucan'tmakethewedding,it'sstillnicetosendagift,butyouwon'tbecommittingamajorfauxpasifyoudon't.Attheleast,sendacongratulatorycardbeforethewedding--betteryet,takethecouple(oryourfriendthebride)outtodinnertocelebratewiththemsometimesoon.
Technically,youhaveuptoayearaftertheweddingdatetosendagift,butitmakessensetoshopforagiftsoonafteryoudecideyou'llgo.Findoutwherethecoupleisregistered--askthebride'smotherorsister,thehonorattendant,orthecouplethemselves.Don'texpectthisinformationtobeincludedintheinvitation(exceptforshowerinvites)--you'resupposedtoaskthemaboutit.
Theweddinggiftshouldbesenttotheaddressthecouplehasgiventheirregistry--don'tbringitwithyoutothereception.Whilethisisstillthecustominsomeregions,giftsattheweddingmeanthecouplehastoworryaboutsecurity,makingsurecardsstaywithboxes,andgettingthemhomesomehowafterthereception.(Also,youhavetolugitalongwithyouthatday.)Ifyou'realsoinvitedtotheshower,bringthegiftwithyoutothatparty.
Youdon'thavetogetthecoupleagiftfromtheirregistry,ofcourse--buttheupsideisthatthey'vechosentheseitemsthemselves,soyouknowtheywantandlikethem.Ifyouhaveanother,specialideaforagift,byallmeansgoforit--butstillsendorbringittothecouple'shomeinsteadofhandingittothemonweddingday.(Ifyou'renothavingapackagemailedthroughastore,makesuretoinsuretheboxagainstdamage.)Ifyouwanttogivethecoupleamoney,makeyourcheckpayabletothebrideorgroomifyou'resendingitbeforethewedding(usethebride'smaidenname),tobothofthemifyougiveittothemonweddingdayorafter.
Ifyoustillhaven'treceivedathank-younoteamonthafterthegiftwassent,it'sokaytocallandaskifitgotthere.(Youmightfirstcallthestoretoconfirmthatthegiftwasinfactdelivered--thecouplemightjustbebehindontheiracknowledgements!)
WhattoWear
Dressasyouwouldforanyothersocialeventheldatthehourandduringtheseasonofthewedding.Forexample,ifit'saspringbrunchorluncheon,aprettysuitorfloraldresswouldbeappropriateforwomen;alight-coloredsuitand/orshirtandtieformen.Forevening,dependingonhowformaltheweddingis(youcanusuallytellthisfromtheformalityoftheinvitationand/orwheretheweddingisbeingheld),thedresscodeiscocktaildressesforwomenanddarkersuits(ortuxedos,ifit'sablack-tieaffair)formen.Don'twearanythingtooflashy--sequinsareprobablyano-no--andrememberthatiftheceremonyisatareligioussite,youdon'twanttoshowtoomuchskin,either(i.e.,shouldersshouldbecovered).
Blackusedtobetabooforweddings,butthesedaysablackdressisperfectforevening,justasitisforanightattheopera.Femaleweddingguestsshouldnotwearwhit